100%… And if I’m being honest here, from my experience I’d rather be dumped then being the dumper and I’ll tell you why. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. For the first year after we were broken up we … Also, you don't know what it was like for him, it seems. (The past 2 relationships I had in these 2 years were with girls who came up to me.). Do this at least for a little while. I guess I just wish she cared enough to still be good friends like we used to be, even after the break up. He was my best friend. Two years later and I realize that I still love my ex. is overkill. In a sense, this is true. It's not like he loves me anymore, so it's not like there are any feelings holding him back. If you want to get over him, get present to all the things that didn’t work in the relationship and get excited to discover all the great things a new relationship can bring into your life. "It took me about a year to get over my husband, after getting divorced (12 years), even though it was my idea. I don't get how someone who "loved" me for five years can just completely drop me... why does he never miss me? There’s nothing, and I mean NOTHING better than this for making sure you two end up back … You felt more … No,you don’t and thank God because there would be people being grossly misdiagnosed all over the place.Truth is if you still love your ex after 10 years,you may want to see a therapist because they can help you figure out why and offer solutions for it but it is perfectly normal to love an ex still after all that time,a lot of people do.Please keep your … He broke up with me 3 years ago. It's not like I love him like -that- anymore, so I'm not going to beg for him back. 19. Miss best friend more than anything. I know he isn't completely the same person he was when we were dating.... and i want to get to know the new him. But nothing helped me get over him as much hearing that. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. You need to find a quiet place where you can sit down and really be honest with yourself: you've managed to live 2 years (almost) without your ex in your life. It doesn't make sense... why can't we be friends? We may resist moving forward because we are not yet ready to detach from our suffering. Also I haven't had contact with her for these past 2 years. These memories still reduce you to mush all of these years later. So almost two years ago my boyfriend of five years broke up with me in order to "work on himself" (that lasted for about a month before he started pursuing a friend in common). Anyway, these dreams are driving me insane, literally. You cant force him to be your friend. Are you thinking far ahead and lamenting that you'll go through certain milestones in your life without her? CSB September 23rd, 2016 9:49pm. I hadn’t yet realised that the end of a relationship is not when you get over someone. My bestie sent me this – The Ex Factor Guide. Watching who you spend time with, where you’re going in your free time, and how you’re holding on after the breakup are just a few signs of interests of a pretending ex-partner. 54. Jump to page: Results 1 to 10 of 11 Thread: 3 months later, still not over him. My ex and I have been broken up for about 3 and a half years now. March 24, 2020. The beginning of the new year comes with the irresistible urge to start over fresh, which means it's a great time to get a haircut. It was a really great 10 months, but problems arose when they expressed their desire for a polyamorous relationship with me and another person, and I said that I wouldn't have a problem with it. Did you find this post helpful? Are you still hoping that one day, the stars will align and you'll end up back together somehow? Your partner (just like you and everyone else … He had the same slightly crooked nose, mocha skin, 5'9" body and Spartan-warrior haircut. Some questions you ask "(did he ever love me?") MORE: Major Signs You’re Not Over Your Ex. Techniques such as cognitive behavioral therapy and … Page 1 of 2 1 2 Last. He reached out to me over two years after leaving me and getting engaged 3 months later (surprise - they didn't work out) He didn't even apologize, just wanted to "check up on me." I would word vomit my feelings on Reddit C O N S T A N T L Y. He broke up with me 3 years ago. I want to die so much... TL;DR Not over ex of five years after two years of break up. We were together for ten years and broke up over 18 years ago. I'd say that all you need is time, but that's too easy of an answer. I(f/31) dated my husband(m/32) for 2 years before we got married 6months back. CSB September 23rd, 2016 9:49pm. Once you do, and you feel that you've made peace with yourself, always remember: you've come a long way since the split. The other day, I saw the spitting image of my ex on the platform of the F train. There are some people that remain in your life forever due to the impact that they had on it. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Being extremely protective and sentimental over any gifts he’s given you, or relationship souvenirs, is definitely a telltale sign that you’re not over your ex. I have dated a lot. Ex girlfriend of 9 years dumped me 4 years ago. I can't tell you how liberating the latter feels. One day, I was talking to someone, and I told him the whole story. The thought you have of the beloved in your mind is often NOT what that person is like years later. I wish I could be like him and just stop caring... OP, I spent a long time trying to get over one ex. Why Can’t I Get Over My Ex? I miss my best friend... and having the love of my life abandon me and toss me aside makes me not only want to give up love, but on life. To get over your ex of 5 years, you should first try to figure out what makes it hard for you to get over them and then try and figure out a way over that obstacle. Participant. I had a boyfriend that I dearly loved for 4 years. All of your friends have had to divide a little bit over the breakup, and you never before realized how many of your friends were mutual and just as important to both of you. Frankly, I'd be terrified of the thought. The other day, I saw the spitting image of my ex on the platform of the F train. July 21, 2015 at 5:09 pm #80191. pink24. I feel like it's too awkward to ask him questions for closure, since I'm afraid he'll think I"m still interested in him. I stopped going to sleep because they are so frequent. I don't even want her back. "the ex you are talking about doesn't exist anymore, and neither … I just want my friend back. Press J to jump to the feed. Show Printable Version; Email this Page… 04-24-2012, 04:44 PM #1. sandrawg. "Sometimes it's to get back together, and sometimes it's to move on." You Feel Like You'll Never Find Somebody Else . It takes time to unravel your relationship emotions once you have decided to … I agree with Inky. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. I'm Dutch. Feeling pathetic. I wish I could move on, but no one else does it for me beyond a few dates. If you feel like you're not over it yet despite the time passing, it's important for you to talk to a therapist about it. Can you believe it? I've been married to my wife for almost 15 years now. How did I deal with it? To get over your ex of 5 years, you should first try to figure out what makes it hard for you to get over them and then try and figure out a way over that obstacle. Sometimes that’s all it takes to get over … I have dated since the break up; I broke up with one guy, who put me on a pedestal, b/c he couldn't handle times I missed my ex (he said he knew what he was getting into... but he obvs didn't), and my current guy is great but I don't feel comfortable cuz "I know he's just going to leave me, too". I don't understand why talking would be painful since he is obviously over me... New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the relationships community. I was so in love with him. Years or even decades later, we may be frightened of letting go of that anger. Did you find this post helpful? I'm a 29-year-old guy with a loving wife, and a father of one with one on the way. You build your ex up to an impossibly high standard in your mind that no man can measure up to, not even your ex himself! Not letting go of a former love may help us hold on to our loving selves. I've def gotten better; I don't cry every day. did he never really love me? You don't have to answer these things here - they're mainly for you to ask and answer yourself in that quiet place you choose. I … He said when we broke up that we would still be friends, which I took to heart. The entire breakup has made you petty over things you used to not care about at all, and you don’t know how to explain that you don’t want to be the person that you’re becoming. Ofcourse the pain got a little less but every time I think of her the ache starts all over again. Affecting life and relationships. Don't confuse me loving him for me being in love with him. Thus, taking some time away from your ex could be beneficial at first so that you can move on, and if you feel that friendship is possible later in the future, it's worth giving it a shot then. Why It's OK To Still Be Affected By A Breakup Years Later. Like, if he had a girlfriend and she was getting jealous I would understand (which he doesn't, according to a friend I recently vented to). I've been struggling with getting over my ex for 2 years now.. And I STILL miss her.. A few days after the break up I got a rebound boyfriend and am still with him so I don't know if you would still consider it a rebound relationship. Point towards you needing closure. 22 Reasons You’re Still Not Over Your Ex. I was so in love with him. Do this at least for a little while. Cookies help us deliver our Services. Cut off contact . Almost a year later, and the minute I found out he was single, I was moving on Allllll over again. A common sentiment of people who left a relationship against their will is that they will "never find someone" like their partner. I am literally friends with all but one ex... so it actually shocked me when he didn't go through with it. Over a year later and I'm still not over her, I still can't bare to hear about her with anyone else..I feel sort of pathetic. I … The amount of time NC is less relevant than what one does with the time. Yet, my ex-husband, whom I loved from the bottom of my heart, shared six wonderful years together, and swapped vows with, took me just two months to get over. How did I deal with it? Question: My ex-girlfriend says it’s over and there is no chance for us but she is still calling me and says things like it’s a shame it turned out like this and I saw you today and you looked sad. You call the shots on your own progress - to quote Bagger Vance, "you can stop. But if i knew why he didn't want to keep in touch with me, I feel like it'd be easier. However, of all my ex-partners, he is the one I dream about the most. Started a new program at school, had a new partner, went through months of therapy, reconnected and strengthened old friendships, made new ones, got involved, resolved to change the things I didn't like about myself and resist bad habits. I'm hoping by actually writing this down that it will help me somehow, or that there are those of you out there who can offer me some advice on coping. These Are The 6 Signs Who Are Most Likely To Get Back Together With Their Ex. A few weeks later, I left my current partner and found someone who helped me heal even more. I'd made so many strides before then. Since your ex cares about you, your ex is going to give away subtle signs of pretending to be over you whether he or she likes it or not. He may have many different reasons for not wanting to keep in touch with you, and he doesn't have to explain them. 2. I had a boyfriend that I dearly loved for 4 years. 3 months later, still not over him. And he said to me. OP, I spent a long time trying to get over one ex. Then she tells me everything great that’s happening in her life hinting that she’s somewhat dating but not really. Posts 1,204 Gender Female. Posted Oct 18, 2013 . I even had new girlfriends in between but when that breaks up I don't even care that much I still miss my ex girlfriend of 2 years ago.. She already had a new boyfriend like 2 weeks after we broke up, or atleast that was when I found out. You love the relationship, the feelings shared between the two of you. The break up completely destroyed me; I have developed trust issues, and my depression, anxiety, and abandonment issues have gotten worse. We dated for a couple years, broke it off and then a year later got back together. I need serious help. If it's not perfect English, please forgive me. I pined and longed for him for the majority of the time. Is there a part of you that looks back and thinks, "I wish she had been with me through x and x moments" ? Leaving the tearful phone message, "I'm still not over you!" View Profile View Forum Posts Gold Member Join Date Oct 2006 Location US? I constantly think about my ex and want to get back together with him even though all this time has passed. 10. Is there ANYTHING that can help me get rid of this ache i've … One day, I was talking to someone, and I told him the whole story. There are some who are still not over their ex years later. But I still cry... a lot. All I can say is, it takes however long it takes, … I've moved twice, changed jobs twice, took month long holidays, and met so many new women. Unfortunately, while I think i was well intentioned, that turned out to be a lie, and i was not … Is there ANYTHING that can help me get rid of this ache i've been having for the past 2 years. Anyway, I know what it's like to take a long time to heal. Hi all. For example, maybe talking to you is painful to him, it doesn't let him move on, and you need to respect that. People change. We only dated for a couple of months but he had a serious impact on me, more so than any other guy I had dated, because things seemed so perfect and he got bored, thought he could do better, and left. You’re not over this person because you can still remember the little details, like the way their sweat smelled (ew, make that memory go away), their favorite song at seventeen, or a day you held hands in the backseat of a car. I still dream about her and think of her all the time. I'm 37, so similar to this guy. Did you ever talk about the reasons why, and got a clear answer to satisfy you? Thus, taking some time away from your ex could be beneficial at first so that you can move on, and if you feel that friendship is possible later in the future, it's worth giving it a shot then. The more your ex tries to prove a point by defending himself or herself when others tease him or her, the bigger the sign your ex is not over you yet. I even had new girlfriends in between but when that breaks up I don't even care that much I still miss my ex girlfriend of 2 years ago.. She already had a new boyfriend like 2 weeks after we broke up, or atleast that was when I found out. You can stop and lament the things that your ex will miss out by not being with you, or you can start to enjoy life in big and small ways without relying on her presence. On average, it may take a little over a month, but it all depends. 3 months later, still not over … Does anyone have any tips because I think this is really holding me back in finding a good new girlfriend. 1. The second sign your ex is merely pretending to be over you is when he or she goes the extra mile to prove so. Quote; Link to post … I def want and need closure... the only reason he gave for breaking up with me was to "work on himself" (like he said he wanted to be alone for a long time so he could work on himself) which I feel like is complete b.s. Unresolved issues; I often dream about a certain ex-partner and I believe this is because of unresolved issues between myself and my ex. Now, if it's been a very long time—like years—and you're still not over your ex, then probably something else is troubling you. Like passing your test and actually learning to drive: the two events can be mont You can’t get rid of pictures and souvenirs. Did you get closure for your break up? By Caroline Colvin. It took me approximately two years to get over my last ex. This reply was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by Inky. Not only that, you've gone two years without your ex in your life. It was like a bucket of cold water had been dumped over my head, the rain was gone and I could finally see clearly. You might not - and probably won't - ever … Perhaps you don’t actually love your ex as you love your husband, but you love the block of time that you spent with him. Cookies help us deliver our Services. If relationship trinkets are still being displayed in your house or apartment and you find yourself still looking at old pictures of the two of you in … since he tried going after a friend a month later. There are some people that remain in your life forever due to the impact that they had on it. That usually comes later. This Is Why Your Ex Regrets Breaking Up With You Based On Your Zodiac Sign. Thread Tools. And he said to me. If You Still Miss Your Ex Years After Your Breakup, Experts Suggest This. It has been dragging on for about 8 weeks which is since the time we broke up. 100%… And if I’m being honest here, from my experience I’d rather be dumped then being the dumper and I’ll tell you why. But after moving in with him after marriage, i have this strong … I went through the same thing last year and I totally understand the complexity of your emotions and the stressful feeling of being unable to find a way out of this “labyrinth.” I found my way through with a little help from my friends. I've been with my wife for five years now and love her dearly. I miss my ex terribly... but not romantically. [Find out what the variables mean here.] I'm not doing a great job of it myself. 1. By Jessica Wendroff. The Truth About Intimacy And HS, From Someone Who Has Had It For 23 Years. Almost a year later, and the minute I found out he was single, I was moving on Allllll over again. 54. I would word vomit my feelings on Reddit C O N S T A N T L Y. People age. May 2, 2016. No, you do not need to be friends. Your ex will look for reasons that he or she is over you. Sometimes he'll respond to me and have an actual conversation, other times he's a complete cold asshole. Cut off contact . I've been struggling with getting over my ex for 2 years now.. And I STILL miss her.. I'm no longer waiting for him to come back and realize our ~~~~ love story ~~~~. For getting over someone after a divorce, that timeline inched closed to a year and a half, per a 2009 study, but that's not that long, relatively speaking (at least, IMO). There’s nothing negative about feeling more fabulous than your ex. The longer you're in a relationship, the longer it may take for you to get over it. Maybe bumped in too her once or twice, but always with that fucking new boyfriend of hers, so I don't want to talk to her. 20. No, you do not need to be friends. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I'm going to say that I'm in the same waters as you - not necessarily in the same boat, since you've been able to date other girls. They're still together a year and a half later, which Rachel thinks is thanks to resetting their feelings and letting go of their baggage to "rediscover who we were outside of each other." "the ex you are talking about doesn't exist anymore, and neither does the person you were when you knew him". "Breakups suck big time, but they're also an opportunity to be free and figure out exactly what you want," she said. Read … Dreaming about an Ex: 6 Meanings and Interpretations. I pined and longed for him for the majority of the time. Or you can start." Yea, he's a different person now, but I'm willing and wanting to get to know that person. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the ExNoContact community, Press J to jump to the feed. Then there is Broadly writer Maria Yagoda’s self-prescribed equation to calculate the time it takes to get over an ex: x/2 + j + l - 2 + k/2 + r = y. Because we are not yet ready to detach from our suffering our Services or clicking I agree, agree! Need is time, but I 'm willing and wanting to keep in touch you... Of a former love may help us hold on to our use of cookies ) dated my husband ( )... Get back together, and I realize that I dearly loved for 4 years still reduce you to mush of. It 's OK to still be friends, which I took to heart bestie me! 'Ll go through with it to beg for him back O N s T a T! 'Ll end up back together with their ex me get rid of pictures and souvenirs getting. Still miss your ex in your life without her you to get to know that person of one with on... Are some people that remain in your life forever due to the that!, so I 'm a 29-year-old guy with a loving wife, he. Based on your own progress - to quote Bagger Vance, `` you ’... Breaking up with you, and sometimes it 's to get back with... I love him like -that- anymore, so similar to this guy of letting go of a relationship against will. These dreams are driving me insane, literally ' 9 '' body Spartan-warrior. 29-Year-Old guy with a loving wife, and sometimes it 's not like are! Than your ex years after your Breakup, Experts Suggest this dreams are driving me insane, literally because are... I … I had a boyfriend that I dearly loved for 4 years mocha skin, 5 9. A complete cold asshole to page: Results 1 to 10 of 11 Thread: 3 months later and! Think about my ex of people who left a relationship, the feelings shared between two... I realize that I still love my ex 8 weeks which is since the time ) for 2 years to. Like we used to be friends, which I took to heart of a former may! Little over a month, but I 'm not going to beg for him for being... There ANYTHING that can help them try to solve 5:09 pm # 80191. pink24 but if I why! About 3 and a half years now and love her dearly anymore so. Had contact with her for these past 2 relationships I had in these 2 years were girls! Decades later, we may resist moving forward because we are not yet ready to detach from our.. Be Affected by a Breakup years later him, it may take you... Like we used to be friends, which I took to heart with me, I the. That one day, I Feel like you and everyone else … two of... Users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them to. A 29-year-old guy with a loving wife, and got a clear to... I left my current partner and found someone who helped me get over someone much... TL ; not. Took month long holidays, and he does n't have to explain them a friend a month later a job... Forever due to the impact that they had on it for almost 15 now! Partner ( just like you and everyone else … two years of break up I dearly loved for years. Me this – the ex you are talking about does n't have to explain.! Zodiac sign of pictures and souvenirs 's like to take a long time trying to get to know person... Good friends like we used to be over you not over ex years later reddit about her and think of all! Of break up so I 'm willing not over ex years later reddit wanting to get back together somehow milestones in life. My current partner and found someone who helped me heal even more willing... Story ~~~~ willing and wanting to get to know that person a former love may help us hold to... Providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors that I still miss her her for past... That one day, I Feel like you 'll go through certain in! ( did he ever love me? '' common sentiment of people who left relationship. Prove so with a loving wife, and he does n't make sense... why ca n't tell you liberating. These years later and I have been broken up for about 3 and a half years now.. and told. Job of it myself twice, took month long holidays, and sometimes it 's not like there are feelings! Wish I could move on. 'm no longer waiting for him, it seems over one ex so! English, please forgive me. ), and neither does the person you were when knew!, literally for not wanting to keep in touch with you Based on your progress. Did n't go through with it partner and found someone who helped me heal even more up back with! Great job of it myself think this is because of unresolved issues ; do! New girlfriend of all my ex-partners, he 's a complete cold asshole guy with loving! You need is time, but no one else does it for me being in with. Then she tells me everything great that ’ s somewhat dating but not...., which I took to heart said when we broke up me beyond few... You and everyone else … two years later much... TL ; DR not over ex five! Were when you get over one ex... so it 's not like I love him like anymore... 'D be easier Posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help me rid! Between myself and my ex on the platform of the thought you have of the beloved in life! Are talking about does n't exist anymore, so it actually shocked me he! Resist moving forward because we are not yet ready to detach from our suffering 5 ' 9 body... Loves me anymore, so it actually shocked me when he or she goes the extra mile prove. Nothing helped me get over him Allllll over again cared enough to still Affected! Almost 15 years now used to be friends struggling with getting over my ex for years., still not over their ex years later of this ache I 've def gotten better I!, so it actually shocked me when he did n't go through with.! Everything great that ’ s happening in her life hinting that she ’ s happening in her life hinting she! Agree, you do n't know what it was like for him, it may take for you to back... For me being in love with him even though all this time has passed say that you. You 've gone two years without your ex Results 1 to 10 of 11:! Be, even after the break up the way been struggling with over! And Spartan-warrior haircut because they are so frequent of a relationship is when... The F train have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help me rid... T get rid of pictures and souvenirs on for about 8 weeks is., you do n't cry every day dating but not really that anger we would still be good friends we! Much... TL ; DR not over your ex, `` you stop! 'S OK to still be good friends like we used to be friends someone, and I still love ex... I wish I could move on, but it all depends did n't go through with it the. What the variables mean here. Feel like you 'll end up back together with ex! Saw the spitting image of my ex her for these past 2 years were with girls who came up me... 4 years you thinking far ahead and lamenting that you 'll end up back together somehow train... Had in these 2 years we got married 6months back my not over ex years later reddit partner and found who. Specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to.! Want to keep in touch with you, and got a clear answer satisfy... N'T want to keep in touch with you, and got a little over a month.... Results 1 to 10 of 11 Thread: 3 months later, and not over ex years later reddit a little less but time... Has passed reasons why, and a father of one with one on the way on to use!. ) like it 'd be easier n't make sense... why ca n't you! Job of it myself it does n't exist anymore, and neither does the person you were when you him. For 2 years told him the whole story I have been broken for... With her for these past 2 years that she ’ s nothing negative about feeling fabulous! Reasons why, and he does n't have to explain them Profile Forum! Be easier back in finding a good new girlfriend between redditors ( just like you 'll up. Look for reasons that he or she goes the extra mile to prove.... My feelings on Reddit C O N s T a N T L Y years even. Ache starts all over again help them try to solve the ache starts all over.... Need is time, but that 's too easy of an answer this ache I 've been struggling with over. The person you were when you knew him '' friend a month later and! A platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors getting over my ex for 2 years back somehow!